I'm struggling at home. To say the least. This happens pretty much every time I come home for more than the weekend. I get bored. I spend too much time fighting the urge to go downstairs and eat ice cream. I spend even more time alone in my bedroom on my laptop watching movies.
I feel like I'm kind of stuck. I'm waiting for hear back from people about internships and jobs. And the only thing I can do is wait. I've got entirely too much time to think. I've already cleaned my room and organized everything that can be organized. I wish I could go shopping all day, but I'm broke. I've been to the beach twice, which is so good. I've missed the ocean. I hope to go again this week.
More than anything, I'm struggling to figure out who I am at home now. I go from being this independent, fearless girl who spent money she didn't have and tried anything and got her nose pierced for Christ's sake to someone who is listless, unmotivated, bored and to be honest, boring. I need to find the medium. How to be both people at once. I'm sad. I miss the adventure and the carefree days.
I'm sure that my internship answer is around the corner and soon everything will figure itself out. For now, I believe that getting healthy is a good priority. And lots of sleep. And painting my nails. And sunshine. These things will heal me. And soon I will feel better. Whole.
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