Sometimes I feel busy. I really do. It's nothing to how busy I have sometimes been. It's weird how that happens. How so many things fill up your days and then they're gone. You find new things to fill them up. Sometimes one or two things to do in a day seem like such an effort when they used to seem like nothing at all. I have so much idle time here. Time I wished I had so many days before. I feel like I'm wasting it because I'm not creating anything or working towards anything. I am passing the time. I am waiting for something bigger. I am not accomplishing or progressing. I am sitting. My hair is growing, finally, and although it desperately needs a cut I will let it grow for as long as I can.
I got to go to Providence last week which was great. I was only gone for exactly 24 hours but it was such a welcome break. The Long Island Sound is even more beautiful than I remember it. I can think of someone who really would have enjoyed that. And it makes me sad. How do you ever really know if you're with the right person or the right people? They say people come in and out of your lives as they should but don't you ultimately make the decisions that keep or don't keep them there?
Providence is fun and full of nonsense. We are so grown up living in that house all by ourselves. I'm actually excited for my senior year. I'm thinking a lot about making big changes in my life there and I like that I've got so much time to think about it. That's exactly what I'll do.
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